I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
