Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
