I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize