My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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