She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
