It was confusing and full of hummus
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
