The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
