Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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