They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Randomize
