I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
