i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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