You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
