Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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