i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She even gives head with a lisp.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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