Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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