No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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