Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
thus making me awesome and them whores
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
