Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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