oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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