you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
