My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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