We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
