Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
