Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
