please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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