Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
