And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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