Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
