she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
