D3 body, D1 cock
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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