You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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