I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it's like iHOP with fire
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
