That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
