Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
