Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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