I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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