dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
