She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
