your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
