Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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