I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
