this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just want to make out with him forever
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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