I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
