i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
