we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
