That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
