This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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