that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize