high people should be assigned attendants
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize