I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
