i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
