You're my little dorito
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
