Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So much rum. So many feels.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
my liver is dry heaving
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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