Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
