I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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