I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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