Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
