So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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