i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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