he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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