at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
