fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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