Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
